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Joke of the Day

"Some joke my dad told me a long time ago What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to? Barbers."

"Golf ball sized hail wouldn't be so destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller."

"If you ever see me wearing anything fur lined or faux fur, please punch the person I'm with in the face. I've been kidnapped & need saved!!"

"What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts."

"I once met a man from Nantucket... ...He didn't understand limericks, either."

"I tried to kill a spider by drowning it in douche and now it keeps picking fights with me on social media"

"Have you seen the documentary on Freddie Mercury's butthole? It's called ""Under Pressure""."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them."

"May god bless German engineering, Italian cooking, and English humor. And may god damn Italian engineering, English cooking, and German humor."

"My wife ran away with my best friend. I haven't met him yet."