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Joke of the Day

"what does a 9 volt battery and your girlfriend's arsehole have in common? Even though you know you shouldn't you give them both a lick"

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped"

"[drug test] WEED: what did you get for #15? HEROIN: the teacher said not to share answers. COCAINE: done LSD: this paper tastes like crab"

"What idiot called it ""the clap"" and not ""dishonorable discharge?"""

"Him: How much do you love me? Me: A bit more than pizza. Him: Me: But not as much as coffee."

"Old school chicken joke Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and crossed the road again? Because he was a dirty double-crosser!"

"What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Just trying to fit in."

"People with dysgraphia (inability to spell) also tend to answer arithmetical problems in an unpredictable, seemingly random matter. According to them, you can't spell ""calculation"" without ""luck""."

"I see your eight-year-old joke and raise you my nine-year-old joke. Why didn't the bullet have a job? It got fired."

"What do you call an Arnold Palmer with vodka? A John Daly"