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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Winston using his Jetpack?? A Boosted Animal"

"Marriage: when hanging out goes way too far."

"How do you get your pigs to sleep at night? No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house."

"Anyone else hear the new Whitney Houston song they just released? No? Well it's very underground right now."

"People need to learn how to take a compliment... Just today I complimented the most epic mustache I've ever seen and the lady didn't even say thanks."

"I get high before I get my Drivers License pic taken. That way I look normal if I'm pulled over."

"I was walking down the street one day.. and a man threw a bit of cheese at my head, i turned to him and said; 'oh, real mature mate'."

"Roses are red, I have a phone, no one texts me, forever alone."

"How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog? Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you."

"So I just saw the music video for Radioactive, and if you think fighting stuffed animals is weird... ...Imagine Dragons."