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Joke of the Day

"A tiger got his tail caught in a lawn mower... He looked at it and said, ""It won't be long now...."""

"*points w/ middle finger* ""Sure, take this road for about another mile, pull over & go ask someone else"" - Me giving directions."

"What do you call Jehova's Witnesses in Chinese Ding Dong"

"If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?"

"Every time you reply to a text from your ex, Taylor Swift completes another album. Don't be an enabler. Drop the phone."

"I tried to catch some fog the other day.. I mist."

"Jesus walks into a hotel He throws a bag of nails on the counter and says: ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"why do i love bananas so much? they have a peel"

"According to Verizon, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ."

"This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it."