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Joke of the Day

"*points w/ middle finger* ""Sure, take this road for about another mile, pull over & go ask someone else"" - Me giving directions."

"Some people are just better left alone. In a jacket, in a room with padded walls."

"One advantage The Monkees had over The Beatles was the opposable thumb"

"A logician's wife is having a baby The doctor hands the newborn immediately to the Father. His wife asks impatiently: ""well, is it a boy or a girl?"" The logician replies: ""yes"""

"Do you want to know how to keep a dummy intrigued? I'll tweet it tomorrow."

"Why can't you trust anything MATTER says? Because it makes up everything."

"Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries in Teen Girls... This is easily explained by the fact that they spend less time on their knees, and more time on their backs."

"What do you call a 10 ten old Irish boy who doesn't go to church? A virgin"

"What did the snowman order at MacDonalds ? Icerbergers with chilli sauce !"

"I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. And then it dawned on me."