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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when the Speaker of the House is angry? .... A raging Boehner."

"What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken? No weigh..."

"What does a prostitute and a book have in common? For five dollars you can get one with crabs in it."

"How do trees get on the Internet? They log in."

"Welcome to Alzheimer's Club I see a lot of new faces today"

"[bankruptcy court] JUDGE: Didn't you do any financial planning? ME: *lips pressed on mic* Yes, your Honor, I was planning on having finances"

"Why do they call P.M.S , P.M.S ? Because Mad Cow disease was already taken."

"I usually prefer buffets to a la carte restaurants. Someone once asked me if I enjoyed Italian restaurants, and I said, I prefer Italiacan restaurants."

"Which sex position produces the most ugly babies? Ask yo momma. Sorry"

"I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming ""KITT!"" When he can't find his car."