195847

Joke of the Day

"[bankruptcy court] JUDGE: Didn't you do any financial planning? ME: *lips pressed on mic* Yes, your Honor, I was planning on having finances"

"I knew a woman who was very liberal with her kids. She had them aborted."

"Some things you recycle, some you throw away. For example: Paper & plastic you recycle. Opportunities, love and your future you throw away."

"What do you call a Catholic Missionary who is also a car enthusiast? A Catholitic Converter"

"Someone asked Trump how he planned to build the wall he said ""On the day I got elected 60 million people shit a brick and Mexico agreed to pay for the mortar"""

"Sending an insult with a typo is like laughing at someone for tripping and falling and then tripping and falling right front of them."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A licalatapus"

"What does a fencing Redditor always do with their jokes? Ripostes them"

"Idea for a podcast: Friends hang out together and have deep and meaningful discussions and nobody records it and it's not a podcast."

"Potato is like Soviet rape. Not come everyday, but fill you up when is come."