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Joke of the Day

"If you wanna make hundreds of friends, you gotta wear a t-shirt with a joke on it. People will not stop laughing. ""This guy,"" they'll say."

"How do you tell when a girl really wants you? When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse."

"What does a guy want more than anything in the world? It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first."

"Why did the cow get an award? For being outstanding in his field. Sorry."

"It's no wonder we've never met an alien, i'd have a hard time developing a space program if no one believed in me, too."

"Best Comebacks If you want my comeback you can scrape it off your mother's teeth (leave more in the comments)"

"Throwing acid is wrong In some people's eyes..."

"Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything."

"I love that the news bleeps swears. ""Sorry you heard a bad word during our footage of a firefight that ended with a guy being burned alive."""

"I met a girl who said she wanted to be a mortician... ""Yeah!"" she exclaimed, ""The job market for morticians is really great right now, despite what people say about it being a dying career."""