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Joke of the Day

"Judge: You're sentenced to death. You'll be hung. Wife from the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG. Me: Your Honor uncuff me so I can high five my wife"

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make... Then they call me ugly and poor."

"Why did I eat so much paste in kindergarten? It really stuck to my ribs."

"What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby ? 90 minutes in the oven."

"When Spongebob has sex he wouldn't make the girl wet. He would dry her up."

"""A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."""

"what if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs"

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop Dogg? Dr. Dre"

"If you take an Asian man and spin him around 3 times... Does he become disoriented?"

"Why did the Ferguson protesters not participate in Black Friday? Because they have already looted everything they would have bought anyway."