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Joke of the Day

"I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologize to the man at the next urinal."

"I was in a band.. called ""Missing Cat"". You might have seen our posters."

"Whats all of this fuss about reposts? I haven't seem any all year! (It's 12:00 NZST)"

"Shake what your momma gave ya! *shakes old decorative wreath* (pine needles and holly berries go everywhere)"

"""Do you have anything with 3-5 pounds of rhinestones on the ass?"" Upper-middle class ladies shopping for jeans"

"I was inept with girls in high school. Once I tried to unhook a bra strap and accidentally made a macrame plant hanger."

"You remember those yardsticks? They don't make them any longer."

"when it's april 2nd and she still pregnant"

"Have you heard the story about the suicide bomber? I haven't but I heard it is BLOWING up"

"Ghetto people are always naming their kids after stuff they cant afford: Mercedes, Diamond, Bentley, Pearl, Light Bill, Rent, Car Insurance."