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Joke of the Day

"I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologize to the man at the next urinal."

"[Very Racist] What is the difference between a black person and a bench? One can support a family of four."

"Why is Anthony Weiner considered a hipster? He had has dick out for Harambe before it was cool."

"Because you know I'm all about that data, bout that data. No trouble. I'm all about that data, bout that data. No trouble."

"So I told my wife I ate a bunch of pineapple today ;-) But then as I came in her mouth, I said ""oh yeah, and a bunch of bacon too"""

"I was gonna make a joke about the internet... But Why Would We need it"

"[hell] Me: Why am I here? Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuckup cunts"

"Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns? Chronic depression makes the meat a little tangy."

"How many whores does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it, two to stick it in their assholes, and a final whore to film it."