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Joke of the Day
"I'd tell you a joke about statistics But the punchline is probably outside your range."
Next Joke
"Last night my girlfriend fell asleep before me, so I decided to lick her pussy until she woke up. This morning she asked why the cat seemed afraid of me."
"If a Nun changed sex... Would that make them a tran-sister?"
"[wife explaining to me how deaths in movies work] So the actors really don't die? ""No"" So is Abraham Lincoln really not dead? *she sighs*"
"And the LORD said unto John... ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and had to eat the biscuit[.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soggy_biscuit)"
"I wouldn't say I do a lot of psychedelics... But my couch has seatbelts."
"Dude is texting with a flip phone, just like George Washington did"
"My gf told me to stop being childish, she just wants to come in for a talk not my fault she cant remember the password to my pillow fortress"
"Yo momma is so fat ... She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars."
"i want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into cash"