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Joke of the Day
"It's a boy! ""It's a boy!"" I shouted, as I ran from the Thai brothel."
Next Joke
"A pretty face gets old, a nice body changes, but a good woman will always be a good woman."
"Went to Costco for eggs. Walked out with a toaster oven, an 80 inch 4K TV, minus 1 child and no eggs."
"Passer-by: hey buddy, do you have change for the phonebox? Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox? P: I didnt- CK: I'm not Superman"
"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view."
"Wife: Am I grotesque? Me: No, angel cake! Wife: Why did you call me a cake? Me: Cake is round? *runs *"
"Me: ""Can you go back four slides?"" Bride: ""To the wedding dress?"" Me: ""No, the cheese plate."" Me: Wipes tears."
"A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative."
"If you open Pandora's Box you better at least buy her dinner."
"I had a dog with no legs.. I named him cigarette so I could take him for a drag."