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Joke of the Day

"Went to Costco for eggs. Walked out with a toaster oven, an 80 inch 4K TV, minus 1 child and no eggs."

"Did you hear the one... about the blind prostitute? You really had to hand it to her."

"I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with my back. I'm not sure yet, but I have a hunch."

"Maybe if wommen's uteroids weren't such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn't have to police them with #light & #K9 units."

"A cow with no voice is thrown into a black hole An immoovable object meets an unstoppable force."

"Walking around Brooklyn, slapping people's brunches to the ground."

"A life-long politician and an orange are on stage in front of millions of Americans. What do they do? They start insulting each other."

"what do you call fake spaghetti? impasta."

"""If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open."" said the boss at my new job. ""Why do you need a door then?"" I asked him."

"There are 363 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable."