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Joke of the Day

"[creating animals] God- I want an animal with 2 humps Angel- And a cute face? G- Yes.. And make them spit at humans A- LOL G- LOL"

"There hasn't been a sexual assault that didn't have some Ed Hardy fabric as evidence since 2006."

"What do you call a T-Rex with a bomb strapped to it's chest? Dinomite"

"Screw your Twitter Crushes and Twitter Husbands and Twitter Nemeses. I want a Twitter Penguin. I want a pet penguin, but only on Twitter."

"God: Noah, I need an ark. Noah: Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter? God: Uh [huge grin] cos I'm banging his wife? [raises hand] up top?"

"In the spirit of halloween.... why did the witch divorce her husband ? Because he had a hollow weiner"

"Did you guys hear about Freddie Mercury's bedroom furniture store? Nothing Really Mattress. They only sell queen size."

"In the summer desert heat what did a dust devil say to the over-talkative dust devil? -You are really blowing a lot of hot air"

"What is a rifle with three barrels? A trifle."

"My married life is awesome. I cook for my wife and she does my laundry. We are maid for each other."