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Joke of the Day

"The guy who invented predictive text died last night... his funfair is next monkey"

"I'm so broke that if my girlfriend leaves me for another guy I swear that I'm going with them."

"Dance like no one's a werewolf. Eat like you found it in the couch. Shout like your cat's sleeping. Feel good like a bossy poem told you to."

"Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!"

"What you can get with 57 000? A home for a refugee. Or a shit ton of beer"

"A dick has a sad life His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next door neighbor is an asshole,his best friend is pussy and his owner beats him habitually.!!"

"What is brown and sticky? Michael J Fox opening a can of coke"

"I used to live on the 13th floor but have just moved up to the 14th floor But that's another storey."

"Spice Girls really missed out when they wouldn't let that girl Pumpkin be in the group"

"Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants."