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Joke of the Day

"What's black and white and red all over? Batman's father"

"Why are Black people so tall? Because Their Negros"

"I fostered a child the other day ...Got him in the back of the head with all four cans!"

"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive.. They would eventually find me attractive"

"My moral compass must run on solar power, because it never seems to work after dark."

"Police were called to a daycare yesterday... Police were called to a daycare yesterday because a 5 year old was resisting a rest."

"my 10 year high school reunion is in August which means I have 2 months to lose 40 pounds and get engaged to Michael Cera"

"Looking at a playground, how can you tell which kid is the child of a trombonist? He doesn't know how to use the slide and can't swing."

"Joe was really good at making movie trailers. There was just one problem... [car horn] He didn't have access to the Record Scratch sound effect."

"Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia."