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Joke of the Day

"Joe was really good at making movie trailers. There was just one problem... [car horn] He didn't have access to the Record Scratch sound effect."

"What do you call an ass on steroids? Assteroid."

"Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken."

"I often wonder if people at work can tell I'm using Tinder just by my hand motions... but then I realize they probably don't care WHY I'm masturbating."

"What do you say to a naked pig? ""I never sausage a body."""

"Q. How would you write do not touch in Braile? A. With copper wire and strong electric current. (read it in a shower thoughts thread)"

"Girls are only after me for my money. That is why no girls are after me."

"A priest a rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"You say my obsession with Justin Bieber tore us apart but I say my momma don't like you and she likes everyone."

"You can tell a lot about a person by what they're willing to do during conjugal visits."