165135

Joke of the Day

"Sign at the gas station: ""Bathroom is no longer available."" I can't believe it. Even the Shell bathroom has someone."

"What's the best kind of guy to get fingered by? One with Parkinson's disease!"

"I have a friend named Dick... He's mentally richarded."

"whats the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? ...one is a little lighter"

"What's the worst part about having Alzheimer's? To get to the other side"

"Never tip a cow more than 15%."

"A horse trots into a bar . . . with a 8 foot stringy greasy turd stuck in his butt, dragging along behind. Bartender stares down at the trailing choad, then looks up - ""Why the long feces?"""

"What's the easiest way to annoy an anti-vaxxer? Needle them"

"A guy came up to me in the gym. ""How the hell did you get a body like that?"" he asked. ""Thanks,"" I said, ""That's very flattering."" He said, ""Not really mate."""

"My sex party was a big disappointment... Nobody came."