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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fat magician? A 4-chin teller."

"A girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he gives it to her."

"I was inept with girls in high school. Once I tried to unhook a bra strap and accidentally made a macrame plant hanger."

"What man can make three meals and snacks out of one fish all day? I call bullshit!"

"If you cross your fingers after surgery you'll heal faster Or maybe that's just super stichin'"

"Sexism wouldn't exist if it weren't for your women's opinions."

"What was the title of the soundtrack to 'The Inconvenient Truth'? Al Gore Rhythms"

"What is a capitalist's favorite fetish? Vore, because it's all about consumption"

"Ladies: this giant sunglasses shit needs to stop. I can't tell you how pretty you are when you have a goddamn Millennium Falcon on each eye."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only if the light bulb wants to change."