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Joke of the Day

"John Cusack will always have ""I didn't do my homework but I love you"" face."

"What do a woman and a toilet seat have in common? Without a hole in the middle they wouldn't be good for shit. (Wife told me this one)"

"Which murderer is the safest to be stuck in an elevator with? The ax murderer of course. He will always ax you before murdering you."

"What do you call a fish with no ""eyes""? Fsh"

"NO...I don't ""make plans"" because plans suggest INTENT... ...which is typically the distinction between second & first degree convictions."

"A virgin nun gets pregnant.... And she's sure it's not a miracle pregnancy so she bursts into the priests chambers and yells out ""which of you fuckers has been wanking on the candles?"""

"The Boston snowstorm so was bad the Canadians reported on it. They called it Tuesday."

"*sees lawn gnome cartwheel into room* *calls to renew prescription*"

"TIL: In the 60's people started a music festival before Woodstock in Alabama. It's called ""Burning Church"""

"I like my women the way I like my coffee. I don't like coffee"