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Joke of the Day

"What do a woman and a toilet seat have in common? Without a hole in the middle they wouldn't be good for shit. (Wife told me this one)"

"What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep? Lamb Gogh"

"A study has shown that women are better than men at driving in fog.. Well of course they are. They're not looking where they're going."

"My 2 yo is currently having the biggest tantrum I've ever seen! He's mad I will not let him open & eat the box of candy* he found. *tampons"

"Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round."

"Why did the SSD burn a flag? Because it was a Patriot Blaze"

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Strokin-off"

"They say that every 2 out of 3 people live next to a pedophile Not me. I live next to two guys who keep reposting a century-old joke"

"What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes? He was just a nerdy digger."

"well technicaly my oficial title is ""head research scientist in the field of DNA sequencimg manipulation"" but u can call me ""gene hack man"""