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Joke of the Day
"I had sex while camping yesterday. It was fucking in tents!"
Next Joke
"On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker."
"Coworker: What's your phone number? *looks up from phone* Me: I don't have a phone. *looks down at phone* Coworker...."
"My doctor said I can't lift more than ten pounds... Can you help me pee?"
"Hey Girl Scout, let your mom handle my cookie transaction. I don't have all day to watch you practice math."
"Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country? Too many horses were drowning."
"What's the difference between a flatfish and a good woman? The fish doesn't know it's plaice."
"[trying to impress fiancee's entire family] Waiter: Your bill for- Oh I got it! [looks at bill & spits wine] WHO ORDERED THE ""SUBTOTAL""?!?"
"What's the difference between a necrophiliac and someone with a granny fetish? A couple of weeks"
"My son's favorite toy is the free blood pressure machine at Walgreens."