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Joke of the Day

"[death row] Okay Johnson, it's time. Any last requests? Pardon me? I said it's time, any lastah I see what you did there, Johnson. Good one"

"Ate a hot dog at the food court today and four gay men gave me a standing ovation."

"The other day I started making a belt by joining all my old watches together... ...but then I realised it would be a waist of time."

"I was raised by my grandfather clock because my biological clock was never there."

"The wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof."

"Q: What did one pig say to the other? A: Let's be pen pals!"

"Why did the cowboy's car stop? It had Injun (engine) trouble."

"The time traveler was still hungry after his meal... So he went back four seconds."

"Hey super sassy black women. I see you. But most importantly, I hear you. And everyone else does too."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunjee cord? My ass!"