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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did one pig say to the other? A: Let's be pen pals!"

"Little Johnny Johnny was a chemist's son, but Johnny is no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4."

"I try to look on the bright side of everything, except for the sun, because it burns my retinas"

"The only thing keeping me from driving off this bridge is the insurance rate increase if I survive."

"I always play it safe during sex. I cut the telephone chord."

"iPhone 6: For people who don't mind holding an iPad up to their ear."

"Why was the skeleton using the Internet? To bone up on his schoolwork."

"Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: No idea, I'm not black."

"I almost got raped in prison. I beat him off."

"[my husband turning onto our street] ""know what I think?"" husband: you don't have to say it everytime. ""we've been down this road before"""