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Joke of the Day

"I just read a book about Bipolar Disorder. One hand I liked it and sent it to everyone I know, on the other hand I burned it and my house down."

"Establish your dominance with the drive-thru attendant by saying, ""That completes my order"" before they ask."

"FIANCE: where should we go on our honeymoon ME (after hearing there's a charizard hidden at mt rushmore): how do you feel about south dakota"

"Failed my biology test today: They asked, ""What is commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" wasn't the correct answer."

"Buddhist Pizza What kind of pizza does Buddha like? One with everything."

"What did one bunny say to the other bunny? ""There's a sale on at the carrot store!"""

"Bruce Willis is working on the 5th Die Hard movie! They should call this one ""Just kill me already!!!"""

"Why is the Dead Sea a mod on /r/leagueoflegends? Because it's so salty."

"A summary of all Jewish holidays: They tried to kill us. We won. Lets eat."

"Walmart is giving away dead batteries for the holidays... Free of charge"