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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally ran over a leprachaun. I brought it home and cooked it up. TRAGICALLY DELICIOUS!"

"How do the Rolling Stones like their burgers? Plain - Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!"

"How do you stop a 6'4"" 300lb black kid from charging? You take away his EBT card."

"What is the best remedy for cough? A laxative."

"a newly elected governor trying to teach his kid how to spell assassination one ASS behind another ASS, behind that I and behind me the whole NATION"

"So... Do you like dragons? You do? Good. Cause I am gonna be draggin' my balls across your face. Someone at work told me this and I couldn't stop laughing."

"I got a new stick of deodorant today The instructions said ""Remove cap and push up bottom"". I can barely walk now but when I fart the room smells lovely."

"The local radio station is having a contest. First place wins a week in New Jersey. Second place wins 2 weeks in New Jersey."

"What did Snape say at Alan Rickmans funeral? Nothing."

"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he's very well off and he can afford the finest ingredients."