164958

Joke of the Day

"What's the definition of mixed emotions? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car."

"Please don't type Part A backwards It's a trap!"

"Does anyone use question marks properly anymore."

"It took me 4 attempts to type ""my dignity"". Autocorrect kept changing it to ""HAHAHAHAHAHA"""

"I have a dog that can perform magic tricks. i call him Houndini.."

"Every timeI see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think....there's another prostitute making a house call......"

"Don't you just hate it when you can't go to someone's funeral Because that person is still alive?"

"Santa's sack is on the sleigh... Q.-Why is Santa Claus's sack so big and heavy ? A.-Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it is down a chimney!"

"Want to hear a joke about Russia? Soviet"

"""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"" is terrible advice for a recovering alcoholic."