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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear a joke about Russia? Soviet"

"Knock Knock... Who's there? Sean Bean. Sean Bean who? Oh that's right, you started watching after his character died. Works for pretty much anything Sean Bean is in except Sharpe."

"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her..."

"What do transgender cannibals call the blood of Christ? Cross dressing."

"--Wanna go rubbing in the park tomorrow with me? Thanks auto correct, this is why I can't have nice friends."

"Life is like a shit sandwich... The more bread you have the less shit you have to eat."

"You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard."

"""And how's yer wife Pat?"" ""Sure she do be awful sick."" ""Is ut dangerous she is?"" ""No she's too weak t' be dangerous anymore!"""

"I was overcharged by a plumber! So, I've been secretly training a gorilla to roll barrels at people. Tomorrow, we're kidnapping his girl."

"*police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a Princess Leia costume* ""HIDE THIS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN"" *throws bag of cinnamon buns at me*"