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Joke of the Day

"Once there was a man who never left his home. .......Don't get it? . Well, it *is* an **inside joke.**"

"When my 9 year old gets off the phone with his girlfriend, I'm going to ask him for some dating advice."

"Walk a mile in someone else's shoes????? NOOOO, THANK you! I don't even wanna walk a mile in my own shoes!!! Do you know how long a mile is?"

"You should never have sex with anyone in your family... Even if they inceest."

"I named my phone ""The Titanic...."" So when I plug it in to charge it says, ""The Titanic is syncing"""

"My idea of muslim-oriented bar failed miserably. But I really expected ""Allahu Ak-BAR"" to blow up the nightlife."

"Happy New Year everyone....and may your worries this year last no longer than a Kardashian marriage ."

"What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns? Go for the juggler."

"There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks."

"Me: How old is your daughter? Her: She'll be 4 next week. Me: *audible sigh (Slowly, emphatically): OK. But I asked how old is she... NOW."