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Joke of the Day

"Me: How old is your daughter? Her: She'll be 4 next week. Me: *audible sigh (Slowly, emphatically): OK. But I asked how old is she... NOW."

"History Of The Hipster Culture That You Probably Never Heard Of, But Whatever #futurecollegeclass"

"What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer. :("

"Removed all the mirrors from my house because I'm tired of living with that asshole."

"What's a rabbits' favorite TV show? Hoppy Days."

"Why are thousands of kittens dying everyday? For some sick, strange reason, men enjoy smashing pussy."

"Daylight savings On Sunday we jumped back an hour, today we jumped back 50 years."

"4: How do you spell no? Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound? 4: Batman? (Spelling is hard)"

"Does the Ku Klux Klan hold a 3k run every year as a fund raiser? Shouldn't they? I mean, they are racists after all. The publicity just writes itself."

"What's black on top and white on the bottom? RAPE."