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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Kanye West, an American College student, and a homeless man? The homeless man has $7 to his name."

"Why can't Sean Connery read November? Because he hasn't Read October."

"I'm appalled by the amount of sex, violence and profanity on TV. It's too fucking low."

"What is a grateful person's favorite number/letter combination? 10Q!"

"The best part of working out is the sweating and the pain and the feeling bad about myself and the burning desire to die"

"Why are so many ghosts alcoholics? Because they love BOOOOoooOOoOoOoooooooze!!"

"It's good to keep healthy. My gran started walking 10 miles a day when she was 50... ...she's 80 now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

"What do you call an edited series of MILF videos? A Momtage"

"Your refrigerators running. Hmmm let me check. My refrigerator is in fact not running. Thanks you kind young anonymous caller. You have saved me from a great deal of spoilage."

"Have you heard the latest by Lady Marmalade and the Pectin Pack? Oh wait, I forgot you don't like jam bands"