44270

Joke of the Day

"Given how many times they've been screwed by hurricanes, it's time to change the name of the Virgin Islands."

"How many friend zoned guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They'll just compliment it way too much and then get pissed when it won't screw."

"No thanks, 28 yr old hitting on me at the bar... With our age difference, I wouldn't be a cougar... more like a saber-toothed tiger."

"No really, keep talking. I'm just training for the eyeroll olympics."

"Chuck Norris caught all pokemons. With nokia 3310."

"I wonder how long it took Lincoln to decide that just saying ""87 years"" wasn't nearly hip enough."

"Mark Wahlberg has requested a pardon for a crime he committed in 1988. His debut single."

"Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10."

"I am giving up eating red meats. I'm going cold turkey."

"I love my cat, and my cat loves me. The feline's mutual."