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Joke of the Day

"How are women and tornadoes alike? They are both loud as fuck when they come, they take the house when they leave."

"[opening can of Russian Pringles] once u pop u [inside can is a slightly smaller can] huh [inside that can is an even smaller can] wtf [in.."

"If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that one enjoys it?"

"Watch 'Titanic' backwards and it's the feel-good story of a ship that rescues a bunch of drowning swimmers and takes them on a dream cruise."

"whats brown and sticky? a stick!"

"What is the fastest mineral in the world? The malacheetah."

"I carry a magic 8 ball because no one should have to make tough decisions alone."

"How does Megatron get away with raw-dogging it? Decepticondoms."

"Aloe Vera!... me talking to the plants. With a Cockney accent."

"Losing my virginity was like being born again Naked, soaking wet, crying in the hands of my father..."