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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than fighting an uphill battle? Getting to the top and realizing it's all downhill from there."

"What did the blonde's mom say before the blonde's date? If you are not in bed by 12, come home."

"I was recently employed as a sewage worker It's a shit job."

"Mohammad is a great name for a businessman It's all about the prophet."

"PAROLE BOARD: And what would you do if released? ME: Crimes. PB: Excuse me? ME: *leans into mic* RHYMES. I'M SUPER INTO POETRY NOW."

"I always said I'd never chase after a man, but the older I get, I seriously consider power-walking after one."

"What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Rabbits habits."

"I have an original joke. Just kidding. I couldn't find one to repost."

"How many Freudian scientists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and the other to hold the penis LADDER I MEANT LADDER!!"

"Currently using my daughter's iTouch to read your tweets. Also, reading her emails and writing shit on her Facebook page."