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Joke of the Day

"I call my dick the truth... Because the Truth hurts... And you can't handle the truth."

"Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25."

"Someone just asked me if I liked Eminem... I told them that I did, but that I prefer Skittles."

"Turn up? At my age, I'm just happy when I can turn over."

"I make the kids wear fannypacks so they'll have someplace to hold my drugs when we get pulled over."

"No wonder my cigar tastes funny. It's just a really old hot dog."

"Police headquarters was broken into last night. All the toilets were stolen. Investigators have nothing to go on."

"My car and I have one thing in common... ...we're both broke as hell."

"What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt!"

"Hay gurl are you a gorilla enclosure? Cause' I wanna drop a kid in you."