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Joke of the Day

"Shocking that people who've been physically assaulting each other for 3 hours would lose their tempers."

"My penis was in a Guinness Book Of Records... ...but then they threw me out of the library."

"I spent this past weekend baby-proofing my house... I'm not having a baby, but I hung up a bunch of anime posters to make sure that I never do."

"I don't know the lyrics to any of Pitbull's songs, but in my defense, I'm not really convinced he does either."

"Osama Bin Laden should have hid in MySpace"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7 Cos 7 has Ebola."

"a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant and I panicked and said yes so now I have to gradually gain like 30 pounds"

"Religious groups put on performances for an audience The Christians put on a hell of a show, the Jews knocked their socks off, but the Muslims blew them all away."

"If anyone says YOLO to me I say YOLBYPCFAC (You Only Live Because Your Parents Couldn't Find A Condom). I hope it catches on..."

"What did the Nazi without a car say? Damnit! Now I'm going to have to sieg HAIL a cab!"