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Joke of the Day

"So I just saw the music video for Radioactive, and if you think fighting stuffed animals is weird... ...Imagine Dragons."

"""A bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of Adenosinetriphosphate. The barman says ""That'll be 80p [ATP]!"""

"How do you congratulate a Jewish bodybuilder? Muscle Tov!"

"I was straining on the toilet this morning. ""Where's the fucking sieve?"" asked my wife."

"Why are politicians buried 6 feet under? Because deep down, they're good people."

"My favourite Celine Dion song is the one where it's muted all the way through."

"If i could have any super power, i'd pick the ability to lure kids into my truck without giving them candy i spent my hard earned money on."

"why are fish good astronauts? They love trouter space!"

"A very large woman was walking her dog... and as she walked by I said ""nice pig,"" she looked at me with a puzzled face and said ""that's no pig, it's my dog."" I replied with ""I was talking to the dog."""

"What is the best way for a pet shop to get business? Word of mouse."