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Joke of the Day

"I use Google to check if I have internet connection more than I use Google to Google."

"Guy comes home and says to his wife, ""Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!"" She jumps for joy and asks, ""Where are we going?!?"" He says, ""I'm not going anywhere. You're outta here!"""

"7yo: I HAVE A LOOSE TOOTH! Me: The Tooth Fairy doesn't want you messing with it until payd...Friday."

"Thanks honey for rolling over at 3am and telling me I should get some sleep.In my insomnia stupor that hadn't crossed my mind."

"There are two kind of women in this world. Those who get mad about everything, and those who get mad about nothing."

"Why do blck men cry when they make love to white women? Mace..."

"4th law of thermodynamics: If you accidentally make a fart sound w/ your chair in a crowded room it's impossible to recreate that sound."

"Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game? Its in case he gets a hole-in-one."

"What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats? You know you need a psychiatrist!"

"When I was molested at age 7 it was horrible. It must have been his first time or something."