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Joke of the Day

"Mother: ""Why are you home from school so early?"" Son: ""I was the only one who could answer a question."" Mother: ""Oh really? What was the question? Son: ""Who threw the eraser at the principal?"""

"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge."

"Hey look, Grandma! You made the cover of ""Didn't Make Me Any Cookies Weekly"" again. ""What good is she to anyone?"" it says."

"Why did the man kidnap 100 children and kill 10 of them? So that only 90 kids will remember."

"Why do some people dislike twitch chat? It's just not their Kappa tea"

"Head says ""Forget about her."" Heart says ""Tell her u love her."" Bottle of whisky says""Ride the cat around the house & you'll feel better."""

"My friend just joined a Reggae band, he plays the triangle. He says it's pretty easy, all he has to do is... Sit at the back and ting."

"Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, ""How do you drive this?"""

"My girlfriend became depressed because she thought she was a failure and was letting me down. Encouragingly, I told her, ""If at first you don't succeed, keep sucking until you do suck seed."""

"If Trump gets elected, I'm moving to Mexico. Then at least there's a wall to protect me."