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Joke of the Day

"If you're an adult and you aren't tired, you probably just fell asleep and started dreaming. Wake up. It's time to be tired again."

"I used to complain about the bright car lights in my rear view mirror I removed it awhile ago, and haven't looked back since."

"To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please."

"How to Properly Jump a Car Attach a cable to the red positive lead, then beat the negative lead for being black."

"My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist. I told him to stop being so clothes minded"

"That awkward moment when your stormtrooper army loses a battle to a bunch of teddy bears with sticks and stones."

"Santa claus may only come once a year... But when he does he does it, on Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!"

"What did the snail on the turtles back say? WEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? The Rooster"

"A girl walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a double entendre. Then he gave it to her."