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Joke of the Day

"A girl walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a double entendre. Then he gave it to her."

"Did you park the car in the garage? Wife arrives back home. Husband asks her: ""Did you park the car in the garage?"" She responds: ""Partly"""

"I decided to start growing a beard. I didn't like it at first but it's starting to grow on me."

"I'm sorry, but I absolutely detest law firms that do pro bono work. I fucking hate U2."

"Celebrating Memorial Day by not romanticizing the military."

"The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild."

"Mom, have you seen my turtle? Your friends took it outside to play. They're cracking walnuts."

"How do bunny rabbits like their beer brewed? With lots of hops!"

"I like to cry sometimes so people think I know how to chop onions."

"I have a picture of Leonard Nimoy holding a kitten. I call it Spock and Aww. Thank you. Goodnight, everybody."