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Joke of the Day

"I heard thatZoolander 2 was worse than the Holocaust... At least the Holocaust was organized."

"Me: yeah, I'm not going to make it in today. Boss:of course, this snow is crazy. Me: Snow?"

"Why did the hipster dislike physics? Cause the system is broke, yo."

"Excuse miss can you tell me does this rag smell like chloroform?"

"Berlin 1945 Ten Soviet soldiers are lining up to rape a German woman. She keeps screaming ""Nein!Nein!"" So one of them left."

"Anybody have plans to stare at their phone someplace exciting this weekend?"

"Priest and a Hindu are making breakfast.. The priest is spreading on margarine and exclaims, ""Look! It's Jesus in the spread!"" Shocked, the Hindu replies, ""Wow, I can't believe it's not Buddha."""

"I always keep a windchime next to the bed so I can brush my fingers across it as my lover climaxes"

"drity Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Chain link fence gates will have their revenge on speeding 80s getaway cars."