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Joke of the Day
"Excuse miss can you tell me does this rag smell like chloroform?"
Next Joke
"What are the inhabitants of Crete called? Cretins!"
"One of the perks of being a woman is that no one can ever surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom."
"Help she is suffering from anal seizures? No she is just twerking."
"Seriously, this is the last time I trust a baby with firearms."
"What would you call Daenerys Targaryen if she had a vaginal infection? Khalyeasty"
"[Blue whale documentary] This monster can eat 40 million fish in a day. Whale looking directly into the camera: Yeah I'm kind of a foodie."
"70% of being married is just wondering which of us is going to benefit from the life insurance."
"Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish & he'll plan fishing trips with his buddies to escape from his annoying wife."
"Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath."