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Joke of the Day

"[2011, pakistan, seal team 6 enters the compound] ""chief, something has brought the boys to the yard"" bin laden [making a milkshake]: SHIT"

"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view."

"What do you call a policeman on fire? Bacon."

"Policeman:""Sir, we have sufficient evidence to believe that this vehicle has been stolen. Me: how Policeman: Step out of the tank Sir"

"Did you hear that someone stole all the toilets at the police department? The police said so far they have nothing to go on."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar Wait that was a priest...."

"[Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] ""Did u just propose using emojis?"" ... ""Technically its called a propoji, but yes"" [She's already gone]"

"What's Beethoven up to these days? Decomposing"

"Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Japanese guys jumped out and yelled ""supplies!"""

"Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because they weren't born yesterday."