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Joke of the Day

"Policeman:""Sir, we have sufficient evidence to believe that this vehicle has been stolen. Me: how Policeman: Step out of the tank Sir"

"I grabbed for my Android and grabbed my friend's instead She said ""This is not the droid you're looking for"""

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A stego-sore-ass"

"Just saw a friend I haven't seen in 5 years ...he says: ""I still use your Netflix password!"""

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquitos stops sucking after you fucking slap it"

"If your Facebook picture is a photo of a sunset or something inanimate, I'll assume you have a dissociative identity disorder."

"The people in horror movies would live a lot longer if they listened to me in the audience."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black"

"I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime."

"Q: What did the cook say to the dough? A: I ""NEED"" you!"