16440

Joke of the Day

"Operator: 999, emergency services. Which service do you require? Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen."

"Why is it true that if vegans ate you it would not be cannibalism? Because you are fucking nuts"

"Have you heard my joke about construction? I'm still working on it"

"What's the hardest part of being a paedophile? The dick."

"What do you call an Ethiopian family photo A Bar Code."

"What kind of noise annoys an oyster ? A noisy noise annoys an oyster ! (Try saying that fast!)"

"Donald Trump Announces tomorrow his campaign has been the best April Fools Day Joke Ever."

"Did Pinocchio catch fire when he masturbated?"

"So Jesus walks into a hotel... he puts three nails on the counter and says, ""Hey, can you put me up for the night?"""

"Does putting ketchup on everything affect your credit score?"