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Joke of the Day
"Does anyone have experience flipping tables? Im sure i do."
Next Joke
"I hate when people ask what I hope to be doing in 5 years time. I mean come on, I don't have 2020 vision."
"I always said ""Aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."" But apparently that's not a valid excuse and I can't work for NASA anymore."
"Two altar boys are hoping to work in a church. They are walking down the aisle in the church when the priest sees them. He walks up to them and says, ""Gee, I've never come across your faces before."""
"I might be schizophrenic , but at least I have each other ."
"boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s"
"If electricity is always directing itself to the least resistant, where would it go? The French"
"I'm like Global Warming... No one takes me seriously."
"[interviewing for job as assassin] Me: I only have 1 rule Interviewer: lemme guess. No women or kids Me: huh? No, I just won't work weekends"
"I'd say at least 10% of parenting is smelling stuff."