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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison? One's a pro, and one's a con."

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"Need more time? Scientifically proved. Those who celebrate more birthdays, live more time."
"What is the definition of Robin ? A bird who steals !"
"My sister and her husband just split up, so I got my 8 year old niece the new ""Divorce Barbie"" She comes with half of Ken's stuff."
"Thanks, Obama! The one time the Republicans are actually happy it is Obama's fault that Trump is President."
"Biology Joke When a plant is sad, what do other plants do? Photosympathize"
"Dentist Lion"
"If you don't have a condom, put a stone in your shoe.. ...it'll make you limp."
"it's a status....not your diary..."
"By fluke, I just learned I could pop the head off a Dora Explorer doll, drill a hole in her leg, fill her with water, and use her as a bong."