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Joke of the Day

"I just took enough Vicodin to kill a medium-sized Chipmunk. RIP Roy. Roy's the hypothetical Chipmunk. I named him. Has anyone seen my legs??"

"What I learned from small crosses placed along the roadside with flowers. Christians are horrible drivers."

"Instructions in the Men's Room for hand washing. Because non-hand washers can't be bothered unless there's an opportunity to learn stuff."

"This mouthbreathing, fat creepy dude at work baked a cake and wrote, ""Eat cake if you want to be my girlfriend"" on it. I'm so torn right now"

"A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica!"

"My butcher is very rude I asked him for a cut of pork and he gave me the cold shoulder"

"What if Aliens don't want to visit us because they're all women and they want us to make the first move."

"HER: [whispering seductively] tell me your wildest fantasy ME: [also whispering] owning a home"

"The Da Vinci Code talks a lot about it Jesus had a child... But what about the second cuming?"