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Joke of the Day

"This mouthbreathing, fat creepy dude at work baked a cake and wrote, ""Eat cake if you want to be my girlfriend"" on it. I'm so torn right now"

"What is red and dangerous ? Strawberry and tarantula jelly !"

"Home alone watching porn What goes black, red,black,red,black,red,black,red, white? A negro wanking"

"What did the ship say to the sexy ice-berg? I'd hit that."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking intense."

"My nickname for my mother is Hannibal Lecture."

"[How the rap feud started] Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party? 2pac: sure, no biggie Biggie[eavesdropping]: [wipes tears]"

"#1: My personality is 30% the last movie I watched."

"What do you call a horny cow? Beef jerky :)"

"My daughter does this thing where she copies EVERYTHING the dog does; Bark, beg, fetch etc. It was adorable! Until the dog humped the couch"